No Solace from Quantum of Solace

No Solace from Quantum of Solace.

I was going to see the new James Bond movie "Quantum of Solace", but after reading several reviews, I'm not so sure. Maybe I'll rent it someday. But that "someday" list is huge.

Why I probably won't see it is that it doesn't seem to be a real Bond movie. It has been likened to a Bourne action film, only not as good. If I wanted to see a Jason Bourne movie, I would go see one. Or a Transporter movie. Or a Batman or Spiderman movie. And I have seen several of those. When I go see a Bond movie, I want it to be a Bond movie.

I don't want a Bond movie that is solely action without the James Bond movie trappings. And worse, one that is politically correct in the modern sense in that violence is OK, but T&A and sex is not. And that has to have "feelings" to cater to the potential female audience.

I want babes -- lots of them -- in bikinis or harem pants in various scenes. There has to be a female villain/accomplice in a bikini or negligee. There has to be a inadvertent female ally. I want Bond to have sex with them. UN-safe sex. Pump and dump. I want Bond to be tough and ruthless in some scenes and charming in others. There has to be a casino scene with Bond in a tuxedo. A wet suit temporarily over it is optional. Bond has to somewhere in the movie introduce himself as, "Bond, James Bond". He has to have a martini, "shaken, not stirred". (Oh, sorry, I guess martinis are so passé.)

Gadgets don't need to be overdone, but where is "Q"? Where is Moneypenny? And we don't need to have an "equal opportunity" female "M". (Sorry, Dame Dench.)

Finally, "Quantum of Solace" is extremely short because it is all action, without the trappings (call them gimmicks -- so what?) that would make it a real James Bond movie. I want my money's worth. I want to linger over it like a fine wine, not like chugging a 7-11 Big Gulp.

Fortunately, I have tapes and DVDs of most of the old James Bond movies. Which one should I next view again?